Lifter of My Chin

Good morning Papa, I am glad to be with You Lord but I am not in a good place. I am letting even the thought of my family returning take away my peace. I am going into avoidance mode before they even arrive. I am afraid of them being mean to me, afraid that no amount of suffering or serving them will suffice, afraid that they will both humiliate and belittle me… lots of fear. Lord I surrender my fears to you. I am making them into enemies in my mind instead of people with real hopes and dreams and love and most of all Your Divine image stamped in their souls.

Son you are mistaking the quietness and neatness of the house in its current order for the inner peace that your heart is longing for. Remember that nothing can steal away your peace unless you permit it. Am I not your strong tower and your vision and your hope at all times? Does not my Stream of Divine Mercy and Love and Peace flow continually for you to bathe in no matter what is happening around you? Can I not walk on the stormiest waves hand in hand with you as you gaze into my face, are We not Three and can We not continually surround you and wrap you up even in the midst of other's anger and hate and self-absorption?

Yes Papa, all these things are true.

Have I not promised to guide you in exactly how to think, speak and act in the way of Divine Love and Peace and Mercy moment by moment? Is there anything I have asked you to do alone? Will I not be your strength to will and to act throughout the day?

Yes You will Papa. I am happy to be with You. Oh that I could staple my eyes to focus on your presence moment by moment. All things are more bearable when I realize that you are with me.

Lord I look forward to hosting the meeting tonight. Thank you for loving me so much Papa, I love You!

Love you bunches and bunches son.

Amen

The Peaceful River of Divine Mercy

Spent much of yesterday feeling unloved and chastised by my beloved. In hindsight she was trying to figure out how to help our son and was distressed because she could not figure out a way. My warring mind wanted to fight with her because I perceived her anger as a threat to my peace.

Son, nobody and I mean nobody can threaten the peace you have in Me. My peace does not rely on external circumstances to be just so. My peace is the river of Divine Mercy flowing out from my wounds. My peace is now and in eternity, it cannot be disrupted by other's anger, murderous intent, torture, venomous attacks, meanness, or anything else. My peace is a constant steady force and you can shelter yourself there any time, in spite of the waves swirling around you, look into My face and trust me. Walk on the water to embrace me. Especially do this when the emotions of others are raging, look directly into my face and be at peace and I will show you the next loving thing to think, say or do.

I will Papa, I love you!!

Love you too son!

Amen

________

12/27/16

It was a good review of what you've spoken to me recently Lord Jesus. I am happy to remember it. Your words of peace, love, guidance and joy are a light unto my path.

Go forth today riding on my breath and swimming in the Holy Stream of My Divine Mercy, Love and Peace. Draw out the good in others, look for it because You know I am working in every life, and my Divine Spark is there no matter how well cloaked. Love them and fan the Spark into flame, small acts of love are the trickle we need here, simple things like a smile can work wonders.

I will Papa, I love You!

Love You too son!

Amen

Small Steps Toward The Light

Love You Papa.

Love you son. Trust that I am with you though you fail to sense it or remember I am there. Be patient with yourself as it takes time to retrain your mind away from isolated thinking, speaking and doing into connected and shared thinking, speaking and doing.

Lord I read of these Saints who have tuned into your presence and I fall so short of that. I long for that connection but fear I am too lazy to pay the price of the work it takes to submit my every thought, word and deed to You.

You cannot son, but abide in me and I will give you everything you need for such a connected life. And look, here you are conversing with me. Be at peace in your progress and do not chide yourself overmuch. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Small steps toward My Light, Love and Peace are good! Be thankful that in Me you have taken them.

I am so grateful Lord, for I look back on where I was three years ago where a heart at war was the norm, I barely know how to function without melodrama in my life. But I must admit that the Peace of soul that is descending upon me is precious and I do want Your Peace to stay with me always, no matter what the outward circumstances.

Go now son and explore the world I have made for you. Stay as connected with me as you can, through others, directly in prayer, in song or chant, in the Eucharist, consciously or sub-consciously. Connection good, isolation bad.

Amen Lord.  ❤️❤️😘😘😍

Channeling God's Peace and Love

Good morning Papa. I am at peace and looking forward (a tiny bit lol) to serving others today. I am trusting You Lord to guide my thoughts, words and deeds as I strive to allow Your Peace and Divine Mercy flow through me and study war no more in my heart. Lord if I never horribilize another soul again it would be too soon. Check me on this when I drift that direction Papa.

I will always be guiding you away from that pit of despair son. I love you and will be your shelter from such thinking. Dwell ever close to my heart of peace and love, not the peace and love that the world offers, but my peace and love. It is the real deal, and though there are some who let it flow through them in a pure fashion, they are few these days. 

I alone hold the keys to this life, this way of being, and though some may tap into it unaware of the source it is Me all along, My Holy Spirit and breath of life that flows through it. Dwell in that current son and be blessed!

I will Papa, I want to dwell always in it and swim in Your Ocean of Divine Mercy, the fresh water ocean of Your Love…

Amen

Displacement and Fulfillment

Papa it was good to give to others when you prompted me to, I am sorry I resisted you when you prompted or missed it completely because I wasn't paying attention to You with my heart.

Lord this listening in on others.. I am powerless over it, yet I am at least starting to pray for them, better than listening for a possible lust hit without praying. Lord heal my soul of this thinking I can get something from listening to others or watching others that will fulfill this longing in my heart to connect. Whatsoever my heart now truly doth seek, Lord lettest Thou me please find it in Thee.

I am your heart's true desire and the desire of all through the ages. I have what your soul needs and it will slowly displace your inappropriate longings and fulfill you deeper within. Completely trust me with this process son, completely trust me to fulfill your deepest longings.

I will try Papa… I forget to contact you so much .. Remind me of your presence today.

I will son..

Amen

All Truth Is God's Truth

Lord it is a good and beautiful day here [in Bucharest]. Thank you for your presence and thank you for helping J and I listen to You more. I am grateful to go to mass this morning and perhaps the adoration chapel afterward to say the rosary if it be your will. Thank you Papa for always being with me. Teach me about spirituality and having the same spirit for you were speaking about this to me earlier…

Yes son, you notice that some react to the word spirituality negatively. There is perhaps another phrase that will communicate better, that is to say when two things that seem like different approaches have the same spirit. In the case of models of understanding the human condition, it can be the same Spirit of Truth, the Holy Spirit, who is everywhere present and filling all things, that is guiding and informing the best and most true aspects of these models. So the life model, the twelve step groups descended from AA, other recovery programs, all of these have the same Spirit of Truth informing them, and remember I am The Truth, The Way and The Life and no one comes to the Father except through me. But also remember that I am everywhere present and filling all things as the Holy Spirit, so I am drawing people to the truth about themselves and their relationship to me and the others continually through infinite variety of means… all truth is mine.

Yes Lord, even in the book J is sharing on self deception there is much truth in it so you are there as well in that model, though uninvited Your Spirit is everywhere present and filling all things and is NOT a tame lion!

Indeed.

Thank You Lord for helping me understand. Love You! I want to stay consciously connected to You more today than ever before… let's break a record!

I'm always up for that son, love you!

Love You too Papa!

Amen

Bucharest Here We Come!!!

Good morning Lord Jesus! I love you so much! Thank you for pointing out St. Josaphat's feast day! So encouraging to know his story on the day I am leaving to be in Bucharest! Wow!!

Yes son, it is of course no accident that this happened on this day. I am sending you as a tiny trickle of mercy and hope to magically well up in Bucharest. I have much in store for you there so listen to me moment by moment as you move forward and do my bidding there. Fret not over J, his addiction, his beliefs or anything of the sort. Plow forward with the plans I suggest and unfold for you moment by moment there. Go to mass and liturgy often and encounter those I have put their to greet you and welcome you. Share the dreams and visions of hope and mercy I have sown so liberally in your heart. Obey Mother G's task for you. Share all your enthusiasm with J and worry not about how he responds. Fret not over any of the outcomes and learn more about my son St. Josaphat.

I will Papa, I cannot remember even everything You just spoke to me, but I can strive to stay connected and conscious of what you are saying to me moment by moment. I am so excited by this opportunity to a trickle of St. Josaphat's love. He was killed for it. May I not fear but completely trust You in everything, and if there be a tiny death of rejection or even complete physical death may I rejoice in every moment of it with You Lord!

Together we can do great things, that only appear to be tiny acts of love. Do not let the smallness of an act of love deceive you son for they are imbued with magical and exponentially transforming power, every last loving thought, prayer, word or deed. So your tiny acts of love and reconciliation and mercy freely everywhere you go and do not be troubled that others cannot see me moving, after all, only Ballaam's ass saw the angel at first and was allowed to speak of it. The angel you are seeing is one of love and mercy and reconciliation and peace, sent both to promote unity and yes strike out against those who oppose it. The time of the separation of east and west has come to a close. You are my tiny emissary, the little engine that could, fret not over your small stature nor your lowliness of position nor your status as a leper for suffering from base addictions and recovering from them. I can use you son, you are learning to listen and be malleable in my hands, fear not I am with you!!

I know you are Papa and I am so happy to be your son.

Love you son!

Amen!

Light Shines Through the Cracks

Lord I botched lunch with R. with my anger over J., I resent J. and His arrogance and manipulation. I resent the Church's resistance to solid 12 step spirituality that J. seams to embody. I resent the way he draws attention to himself. Lord I surrender all this anger and resentment to You. I have no right to think such thoughts.

Yes son, focus instead on the good things I have done and do not detract from them by calling out the bad. I use his style of communication to reach a population that does not value the way of 12 step spirituality. They like preaching and rhythm and a certain style of delivery. They like straight talk directly into their lives and J. brings that. Suffice it to say I have blessed him with all his flaws just as I have blessed you with all your flaws. Do not envy the way I have blessed him nor try to force him to follow your ideas of what will truly free people imprisoned by their addictions. I use all models and approaches in spite of their weaknesses. 

Light shines through the cracks remember? And you and J. are both cracked and broken and self willed but you are both surrendering to me more and more in various ways and this is progress and allows me to heal your souls and my Divine Mercy can magically flow through you to others.

I also resent the continual chaos my kids bring here. Family nights are like a cheese grater directly on my brain sometimes. I surrender my irritation to You Lord and I do see the good healthiness in their loving interactions. I want your joy to be my strength in these situations even when I am playing Martha. Thank You for allowing me to be Mary by reading the gospel to supply some spiritual food to go with the physical. Thank you for being present with us last night.

Amen.

Papa Explains the Necessity of Continuous Connection

Good review of 2015 Journal this morning. It reminded me Lord that I really didn't start journaling your words to me until January 19, 2016, though You had been calling me to do so loudly through Fr. J for some time.

Yes son I was calling you long before that to focus on listening to me by writing. For some sensitive souls perhaps listening moment by moment is enough from the start, but you needed to write for sure, to really focus and listen. It is of course also good to be able to review it.

Remember the first few times I broke through and spoke love into your heart and you wrote it down? You thought it was self indulgent. It is not. You were trying to listen to my voice and this is a good thing. It is what you were created to do, to live in continual conscious connection with Me. Writing is a focusing the lens of the heart to see me more clearly, a fine tuning of the radio to hear me better, and yes indeed Sts. Photini, Lucy, Frederick and Faustina are all good people to have pray for you to see and hear more clearly, day by day. It is a spiritual discipline that bears great fruit and leads to that constant connection with me moment by moment, that ability to listen on the fly in the midst of life.

Yes, as Lewis pointed out the natural interactions of the Hrossa children with the eldil. It is indeed very unnatural for humans NOT to interact casually with Me, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It is abnormal to ignore our presence or take it for granted. It is deeply deficient and detrimental to sever your connection to Me. Cordless Christianity is not really an option. It is presumptuous and assuming you can package me up in a little battery and carry me around and power your life with me when you feel the need.

The problem of course is the need is actually continuous and the connection is necessary. The circumstances of life ensure a constant looking to me for live support, guidance and direction. No spiritual maxims or twelve steps can supply that deeper need. They can indeed lead you to a place where you realize your need for continuous conscious contact but they are no substitute for a live connection.

Go live. Stay in the living stream. Stay connected. Anything else is powerless, like an electric train derailed.

Yes Lord, I want to stay in living connection with You, not presuming I can tote you around like a talisman or pocket Bible. I want this but I fail to keep the connection going, Lord help me remember to stay connected always! My moments of conscious connection with you are so few, I would reverse that proportion by your grace today, that my moments of disconnection would be few and ever fewer. Lord have mercy.

Especially Jesus as I approach my [family members and their struggles]. I surrender all this to You Lord and only seek to do, think, or say the next loving thing You suggest.

I am here son, await my voice and gentle suggestions. I am always pouring them out to you.

Lord I want to listen.

Amen.

It’s Not for Those That Need It… It’s for Those That Want It

Serve your family and friends well today son. Turn to me moment by moment for the next thought, prayer, word or action of love. Especially your friends at small group tonight, do not force the 12 Steps onto them, you have those within your recovery fellowship to connect with regarding that joy in your life. If asked, answer short enough to leave them wanting more, and only go on if prompted by them.

Lord it is so hard to contain my joy and enthusiasm for spiritual recovery in my life. I want to share it with everyone! I want to tell the whole world how good You are!

This is a good response to my Love which laps at everyone's feet for them to plunge into just as you have. It is good and right and beautiful that you want that deep plunging for everyone. Trust me son, I would have everyone plunge in and receive what you are receiving. But remember that for much of your life you yourself were not ready to take that plunge. There were many road blocks that had to be removed along the way and everyone that hasn't made the plunge a daily and moment by moment part of their lives has them. Even you haven't had all yours removed yet. So completely trust me with your friends and family. I am drawing them into myself just as I drew you in. Trust me to give you cues and nudges when to speak, otherwise speak with your actions, thoughts and prayers of love without any vocalization of what is going on inside. Sometimes that speaks louder and it tills the ground for words that can be sown later by me or others or perhaps you, but remember I have others who can speak to their hearts too and trust me completely to coordinate that and time it perfectly.

I do so want to trust you more with that Lord, help me please.

I am always helping son, and breathing love into you and through you.

Thank you Lord, Amen.

Reframe or Spiral Down

Fear has become toxic to me Lord. I no longer want to live in fear. Too much of my life has been swallowed up by the crippling cycle of fear > control > anger > resentment > bitterness > drug of choice > repeat. It is the way of death. You are life Lord. Trusting in Your life giving love and mercy, completely trusting You with child like faith, that is the key for me.

Yes son, trust me with every thought, person, place and situation… surrender them to my love and mercy, allow me to reframe your perspective moment by moment and guide you before you respond to it on your own strength and wisdom. Pause, look into my face, surrender, ignore the waves, focus, listen, completely trust me for I will never leave you nor forsake you, my love is stronger than death.

The same sun that melts the wax can harden clay and
The same rain that drowns the rat can grow the hay and
The mighty wind that knocks you down if you lean into it
Can blow your fears away.

See, reframing your perspective. Glass half empty or half full. Look for me working in the middle of pain and suffering especially, be the happy fool who embraces the cross and its suffering, laying down your life for others. Trust me son, I've been through it and I can lead you through it too. I know the way. Trust me to teach you how to think, what to say and what to do for your next action of love moment by moment.

I do trust you Lord, help me to trust you more and more, more continuously and more completely.

I will son.

Amen

Happy Fool Notions

Per usual Lord, too much to do in a single day. I look to you as the source of my life, strength and joy to face the day one moment at a time. Looking to you for guidance on how to proceed and choosing what to do and not to do. I want to hear your voice throughout the day Lord, that stream of divine mercy words flowing out from you to me and the whole world, may I be one of those trees growing by that river bearing fruit for the nations. I want to be rooted deeply in your mercy Lord and no longer be a sagebrush rolling around independently…. Help me take root in you Lord and grow strong in your love and strength. 

I am happy to flow through you son, rejoice that it is so. Give glory to God for the tiny ways I can trickle my love through you moment by moment and remember the magic of the stream in my Holy Prophet Ezekiel… yes remember Master Yoda saying "judge me by my size will you?" But also remember that I am more than an impersonal force of all living things … I am a person, and I give life to all things. This is scary to most people, they prefer the impersonal force because it seems more controllable. But my mercy goes where it will because it has a mind and is a person, Me, Myself, I AM Mercy and love abounding and I am not a tame lion, you cannot control me. This scares people. Blessed are you son for meeting me in the pages of Narnia and knowing that though I am not tame, I am good, trustworthy and loving.

Yes Lord I do rejoice in knowing you this morning, I love that you are a person I can talk to and listen to. I am a little sad that I cannot share this with others as much as I desire to bless them… it seems in our culture the notion of hearing you speak is for the mentally ill or those suffering delusions of grandeur (Han said this about Luke being a Jedi). Yet here I am Lord and though I cannot see you as St. Faustina and so many others did, I can at least hear your voice a little when I pay attention. I do rejoice in what the world sees as insane and weak and lame and foolish.

Remember what I said through my servant Paul:

The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the learning of the learned I will set aside.”

Where is the wise one? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made the wisdom of the world foolish? For since in the wisdom of God the world did not come to know God through wisdom, it was the will of God through the foolishness of the proclamation to save those who have faith. For Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those who are called, Jews and Greeks alike, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

Consider your own calling, brothers. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God. It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.”

Yes, thank you for reminding me of it Lord. I should be happy to endure a little contempt from the world for saying I hear your voice, that I can tune into it and single it out among the billions of voices screaming and clamoring for my attention. Compared to the contempt and scorn you received on the cross, ''tis but a scratch!". I go forth now as another happy fool in the eyes of the world.

This song by The Choir catches it well:

Wise people sing out loud
"Beware the killer cloud
The air we breathe!"
Why should we cry along?
I know a happy song
So sing with me

Some hear the drumming rain
They fear a hurricane
Why should we run?
Let's fix the roof instead
Wear helmets on our heads
Till kingdom come

I'd tremble, truth be told
Should someone dear grow cold
I'd pray for fire
So stay with me tonight
We'll dance 'til morning light
Love is no liar

Happy fool reasons have I
Happy fool notions have you
I say the sky is as blue as the ocean
You say you know it's true

So tie your shoelaces
To my shoelaces
I'll tie a rope to a tree
We'll see how the wind whips
Happy fool faces
Come blow away with me


You shall go out with joy
And be led forth with peace,
The mountains and the hills
Will break forth before you.
There'll be shouts of joy
And the trees of the fields
Will clap, will clap their hands.

And the trees of the fields will clap their hands,
And the trees of the fields will clap their hands,
And the trees of the fields will clap their hands,
While you go out with joy.
(Isa. 55:12)


Amen

Trusting God with Outcomes

10/11/16

Lord I pray for all my sponsees and friends in recovery that we can all learn together to connect with you and journal what we hear and share it with each other in a way that is mutually beneficial. Lord I am thankful that this is such an integral part of the program. I hope to find those pamphlets about how to connect with You and make them a part of our literature that we can set out on Saturday mornings. I had no idea this was such a central theme in all 12 step programs, but I do admit that I have heard A and others who have been in the program a long time talk about "doing a 10th step" on something which means connecting with one's higher power and journaling the connection for later reflection. I guess I was just to dense to see what that meant.

Lord I am nervous today that I won't pause enough to listen to your voice. I will start right now.

Son I am always with you, whispering loving and good things to you. Turn to me often today and realize I am right there with you, in you and working through you to the measure you allow it. Completely trust me with J, K, and all your friends in recovery. I am moving among them and love them more than you do. I am awakening in all of them a desire to truly connect with me and have that displace their need for lust. This is not your work, this is mine. You cannot force this to happen, it is a gift. You can suggest it, carry the message just like Pastor J suggested it to you. But you had to receive it and adopt it yourself. I know you desperately want them to experience what you are experiencing because it is giving you joy and healing your soul. You want that for others and that is good and generous and right. Giving it away is your primary task. Simply remember that in giving something away, you cannot control the outcomes. You mustn't try to control what people do with gifts you give. It must be left up to them to work that out with me. Completely trust me to work it out with them and them with me.

Lord I am so bad at trusting you with the outcomes of the gifts I give to others. I want to trust you Lord. And I realize that though my intentions are good that I often get in your way. I want to learn to give the gift and get out of the way and not take it personal when the gift is cast aside.

Yes son, consider it a seed planted and fully realize that many seeds are often required before one takes root and grows. That is a simple principle of growth and farming that truly applies to a human soul which is indeed like a garden. A little pruning here, a little fertilizing there, planting a seed here and watering it… but this is done by many hands and you must trust me to coordinate all this work. I alone see the big picture.

Yes Lord, I am starting to see. Thank you!

Sts. Photini, Lucy and Frederick, pray for me and all of us who cannot see and hear well at all.

Amen.

Teaching Others Two Way Prayer

10/10/16

Lord I'm listening…

You are becoming desperate for J and S and K and all of your friends in recovery to connect with me as you have learned. You see now the validation of what Fr. J has been teaching you within the program… that listening to my voice and writing down what you hear and then actually talking about it with others that are recovering from a self centered life is critical and required if you want a daily reprieve from the misery of lust, anger, rage, and whatever other drugs or passions are trying to enslave you.

Son it is I who have placed the desire to have them all practice this two way prayer in your heart, but be careful not to let your good longing for them turn into frustration, anger or bitterness. I love each of them more than you do and you don't see me getting mad at them do you? Be patient and loving and kind and encouraging. Whisper words of encouragement and love to them, speak to the good that you see in their hearts, identify it out loud to them, show them how their longings to connect are good but misplaced. Speak to them if how you misdirected your longings and finally turned to me the Bread of Life, the Living Water and learned to feast on my presence instead.

Lord I felt an awakening this past weekend. Protect what you have stirred in their hearts Lord… don't let the enemy snatch it away like he has for me so many times, I am so slow to learn.

Ahhh, so there is your fear son, that I won't keep whispering this same message of love to each of them continually. Remember, I am always whispering love and mercy to them… I am continually telling them the most wondrous things, trust that I never stop! And also trust that I care for each of them deeply and will guide them like a good shepherd into the fold of my divine presence, love and mercy and I will teach them to listen to me as well and write it down and have two way communication. Journaling is fine tuning the radio to my voice so you can hear it better. Instead of vague notions, you hear actual words, thoughts and paragraphs this way, yes? Of course yes.

I love you son!

I love You too Papa.

Amen.

Bible Study on Divine Mercy

[Seb attended some night classes at a nearby Parish where the the Pastor expounded on some of the Biblical images of Divine Mercy]

10/4/16

Fr J's words and my notes:

The Meaning of God's Mercy Part IV- Bible Images of God's Mercy

Fr. J:
A mental image can strongly determine how you see or understand something. If you have the image of a harsh and domineering father in your memory, your understanding God as Father is skewed and grossly distorted. It will actually blind you to the reality of who God is. On the other hand, the right image can enable you to correctly see and penetrate into a deep understanding of someone or something.

Ezekiel 47:1-12. The Wonderful Stream.
Then he brought me back to the entrance of the temple, and there! I saw water flowing out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east, for the front of the temple faced east. The water flowed out toward the right side of the temple to the south of the altar. He brought me by way of the north gate and around the outside to the outer gate facing east; there I saw water trickling from the southern side. When he continued eastward with a measuring cord in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and had me wade through the water; it was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and once more had me wade through the water; it was up to the knees. He measured another thousand cubits and had me wade through the water; it was up to my waist. Once more he measured off a thousand cubits. Now it was a river I could not wade across. The water had risen so high, I would have to swim—a river that was impassable. Then he asked me, “Do you see this, son of man?” He brought me to the bank of the river and had me sit down. As I was returning, I saw along the bank of the river a great many trees on each side. He said to me, “This water flows out into the eastern district, runs down into the Arabah and empties into the polluted waters of the sea to freshen them. Wherever it flows, the river teems with every kind of living creature; fish will abound. Where these waters flow they refresh; everything lives where the river goes. Fishermen will stand along its shore from En-gedi to En-eglaim; it will become a place for drying nets, and it will abound with as many kinds of fish as the Great Sea. Its marshes and swamps shall not be made fresh, but will be left for salt. Along each bank of the river every kind of fruit tree will grow; their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fresh fruit because the waters of the river flow out from the sanctuary. Their fruit is used for food, and their leaves for healing.”

Fr. J:
This is an image of the immense river of God's mercy that flows out from the heart of God into the world. When the heart of Jesus was pierced by a lance, blood and water flowed forth, identifying the river's source and destination: the regeneration of the life of the world:

John 19:34-35:
But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs, but one soldier thrust his lance into his side, and immediately blood and water flowed out. An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true; he knows that he is speaking the truth, so that you also may [come to] believe.

2 Kings 5:10:
Naaman came with his horses and chariot and stopped at the door of Elisha’s house. Elisha sent him the message: “Go and wash seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will heal, and you will be clean.” But Naaman went away angry, saying, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand there to call on the name of the Lord his God, and would move his hand over the place, and thus cure the leprous spot. Are not the rivers of Damascus, the Abana and the Pharpar, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be cleansed?” With this, he turned about in anger and left.

But his servants came up and reasoned with him: “My father, if the prophet told you to do something extraordinary, would you not do it? All the more since he told you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” So Naaman went down and plunged into the Jordan seven times, according to the word of the man of God. His flesh became again like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.

Fr. J:
These images are Divinely given to allow us to correctly see, understand and experience God's Mercy. They emphasize one point: You have to plunge in! With hope and trust, covered though you be in leprosy, you must plunge in. If you plunge into a river of water and stay immersed, you will cease to breathe and die. With this river you plunge in to begin to breathe and come to life again. We are drowning in a world of anger, violence and death. Our sins hold us captive in it.

This has a direct application to how we worship at Mass, how we approach and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, how we pray, how we struggle with sin, and how we deal with others struggling with sin. We will explore these here, in the worship aid, in the near future.

___________

My notes on his lecture:

We are not God. He does not think or act like us. We should not make God into our image, he is not an echo of us, we are an echo of him. And we are badly broken, wounded and sick so our echo is not so very accurate of the original song of love.

Isaiah 55, my ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts.

If God's loving thoughts didn't sustain the chair I am sitting on, it would cease to exist. Let that soak in. He is everywhere present and filling (sustaining) all things in his love.

When we ignore God he does not draw away and pout, he remains a God of love who remains there, present and sustaining us just like the rest of the universe or we would cease to exist. God has no need or desire to punish us, that is our stinking thinking. The consequences of our foolishness may catch up to us yes and we see God's lack of intervention to fix our mess as his punishment, but this simply is not God's business.

God's mercy is all around us, lapping at our feet, all we have to do is step in, open our hearts and let it flow in, let the river of life flow in and through me. His love radiates continually and swirls around all of us continually, no matter our response to him. There is an infinite amount of mercy and love we are swimming in, we simply must break through this little shell of self absorption to tap into it. The only step to tapping into this is to want it, to want that love to change who I am into a creature of love and selflessness. I hate when someone ignores me I turn away, I hate when I get home tired I isolate and won't give any more to anyone.

God's business is to redeem, heal and regenerate life. [If we take this as our basic approach to scripture it greatly simplifies everything--EVERYTHING can be plugged into this theme in our Judaeo-Christian heritage]. The river of life flowing out of the temple and getting deeper and deeper and swallowing the whole world in his mercy.

There's a river of life flowing out of me
Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see
Opens prison doors sets the captives free
There's a river of life flowing out of me

Spring up Oh well within my soul
Spring up Oh well and make me whole
Spring up Oh well flow out from me
That life abundantly

This river of love started when God created everything and decided to sustain it. It was our fall that isolated us from this river... Insulated us from it quite well actually. Jesus comes to remind us of this flowing merciful river that has always been there for us. He appeals for us to receive it, to become open to it and receive what has always been there. He enfleshes in graphic detail this powerful love flowing out of his very flesh in a stream of blood and water, He wants to make it plain!! And he does.

Naaman of Syria the leper.

7 plunges into the river and he is clean! 7 is a number of completion or perfection.

Confession is a plunging into the river that is already around you.

It simply requires a desire to not be a leper any more... I don't want to act out of my woundedness any more, I want to act out of God's love and mercy that flows freely around, in and through me. I need to be healed, I have the desire to be healed, this objectifies the problem and God can pull it away.. It is outside of me and God can cleanse it. This problem is not me, it is not who I was created, it is just a problem, some stinking thinking and actions that I have fallen into. If I name it then it becomes more apparent that it is not part of me, it is just a sickness that God can heal, a stain that he can wash, an attitude that he can adjust by the outpouring of his mercy and grace.

Affirm others who are acting against God's loving way by affirming the good God has put in them, the love that pours through them. I am glad that you have love for each other... This cohabitation is not something I agree is the best for you. But I am still happy that you love each other, that you live a life of selfless giving to each other, I truly find this beautiful. I find your level of commitment to each other a good starting point and very lovely to behold.

This is a prophecy of the death of Jesus, the living water and blood flowing from the side of Christ, redeeming, healing and regenerating life. This living water flows out and laps up to the door of every human heart and is there for the drinking and being healed thereby. BEAUTIFUL IMAGE.

This river flows always up to the threshold of every human heart. God always stands with open arms like the Father in the prodigal son story - that is who God is, he never withdraws His love no matter how we respond. This river flowed up against the heart of those we love to hate as well, Hitler, Sadaam Hussein - God's love is continuous as revealed by Christ and the Divine Mercy in His sacrificial death, the blood and water flowing out from His side is that mercy and the source of the trickle here in.

We are commanded to plunge into this river of mercy again and again, ...

I stand, stand in the water
Knee deep, deep in the water
Now down, I go under
And rise up, rise up for ever!!!!
-- DA

Naaman plunged in seven times to become clean... But isn't it more a desire to grow in love continually and the sacrament is one of regeneration, of growing in love and a calling to jump in the pool.

Thank you for these images of your Mercy Papa! I love you!

We Love you son, go to work in peace today and use your gifts to serve others.

I will Papa. Mmmmmmwwwhaaa!

The Magic River of Divine Mercy

9/6/16

Lord I admit I wasn't completely over my resentments against my granddaughter, my house, my dinner chores and all the other demanding things in my life. I admit I didn't completely trust you to show me the next loving thing to do and instead I swirled around in a vortex of overwhelming amounts of things to do that I cannot possibly accomplish anyway and certainly cannot do any of them without your strength.

Lord live in and through me today, I hope I get to go to mass today, but Thy will be done.

Yes son, even when you error and make more work for yourself, trust me that this too is a gift from me to teach you patience and humility. Trust that I love your children, grandchildren, your wife and your Momma and your Brother more than you but also through you a little. Trust that the little bit of my ocean of Divine Mercy that I flow through you into them can magically expand and flood through their whole lives… Remember that this is a magic River of Love and Ocean of My Divine Mercy that laps at the feet of every soul. Remember that the smallest act of love, the tiniest trickle of mercy that I flow through you to them can and will magically expand in their lives as they allow it. Take comfort in this mysterious principle of growth which I illustrated in my parable of farming the grain. I also illustrated it with nearly 2000 years of growing the Church which mysteriously is my Body. Enjoy partaking of it today son if circumstances allow.

I will Papa, thank you for your lessons on patience with my own failures and humility to fix them. Thank you for the beauty and mystery of the flowing and growing of your love.

Amen!

________

9/7/16

Good review this morning Lord, love the part about the trickle of Your love through us which magically grows into rivers and oceans of mercy in others.

There's a river of life flowing out from me
Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see
Opens prison doors sets the captive free
There's a river of life flowing out from me

Spring up O Well within my soul
Spring up O Well and make me whole
Spring up O Well flow out from me
That life abundantly

Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again; but whoever drinks the water I shall give will never thirst; the water I shall give will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Lord I would have You the living water in me always to flow out to others, even in a trickle that magically grows into an ocean.

I love you Papa!

I love you son. We are so glad you discovered St. Joe's! [A nearby parish.]

Me too!

Amen

___________

9/8/16

I am here Papa. I am surrendering, quieting my heart and listening …

Darkness is just a speck in the light of my overwhelming love, joy, peace, patience and goodness. My love is taking over the world and the hater knows it and loathes it. These last waves of hate and chaos surging all around you are nothing but death spasms, his kingdom is falling to pieces as my love takes over. So he hates louder and more vigorously as my love proceeds unabated like an unstoppable flood of light, penetrating and remaking everything and everyone. It is he who will have to learn to breath underwater. For though this last generation of men and women perish, yet my Divine Mercy shall prevail and forget not the vast army of your race that are safe in my fold, they far outnumber anything you've seen on earth and they are equipped for aiding in its remaking. The transformation into Terra II is fast approaching so hold on to Terra I lightly. This version of the world won't be here long, it is already gone, it is already gone. Take hope in these words my son, and prepare your heart, train it in always being ready to do the next small and magical act of love that I show it to do, remember the tiniest trickle can grow into an ocean. We all love you son, come commune with us today if you can.

I will Papa, I love you all so much and want to be with you. Thank you for the friends you have given me here on this journey. Help me to love them well. Help me make a proper amends to T today Lord.

Amen!

Look At Me, Not the Waves

7/12/16

Feeling alone, lethargic, confused, unloved, unwanted, ignored, unappreciated etc. Same old simmering fears, leading to resentment and anger likely as not. Lord I am powerless over this kind of thinking, only You can rescue me from it Lord. I'd rather have my mind stayed on You, the source of life and love throughout the day than any of that life killing stuff. You are the lifter of my chin and I miss being in your presence Lord.

I surrender also not knowing what to say to Fr. J. Maybe just a simple hand written note would be better.

Lord I submit my back pain to you today, whatever it is, another stone or whatever I give to You as a prayer for my family who I am rarely allowed to speak to concerning You… Or at least they aren't listening any more.

Help me to make some more amends this week.

I want to stay sober and in your presence today Lord… Keeping my eyes on You as the waves of chaos and life try to crush me and drown me.

I AM reaching out to You son, take my hand. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust in my love and my Spirit to guide you in every decision today. I am with you and remember my Divine Mercy laps at the feet of every soul and pours through the hearts of many that allow it. Look for that, look for my mercy pouring through others today and encourage and affirm it if the opportunity arises.

Remind me Lord Jesus, I will forget.

I will Son, I will be whispering it to you all day long… My voice is always there beneath the din whispering love and encouragement and guidance and gentle reproofs. My sheep hear my voice, I am constantly letting my voice lovingly go out to you, You need to listen to it INSTEAD of the other competing voices of fear, hatred, anger, violence and so on. Ignore the waves and look at me instead.

Yes Jesus, I want that. And Lord, I would learn self control of my angry knee jerk responses too, I'm trusting You to grow that fruit in me Lord.

I will and I AM.

Thank You Lord, I love You and want to do Your will not mine today.

Amen

__________

7/13/16

Reviewed my tumultuous past week emotionally speaking. My mind was not stayed on You Lord, I was not keeping up the discipline of constant conscious contact nor was I doing my set prayer times. Hoping for a better week, one where the peace of gazing at your face and walking on the water toward you in the midst of this storm dominate my thinking, where disturbance is displaced by the tranquility of your presence and completely trusting you to show me the next action of love.

I am always showing you the next loving thing to do, I am whispering it to you often before you ask, what is required is your attention to what I am saying. Your constant focus on me instead of the disturbances that surround you and creep into your heart. Only I can save your sons, his girlfriend, your daughters, your grand children, your wife, your brother, your Momma… Only I can save all your fellows in recovery. So simply look to me in complete trust that I will show you your part.

Pray for them and release them to my care and when I nudge you to interact with them, do it. When I nudge you to help them, do it, but with the very important attitude of completely trusting me with the outcome of those interactions. Do not be distracted by their responses or lack of responses outwardly, remember that I look directly into their hearts and can see their true responses which are largely none of your concern. These are between me and them. Trust me with the hearts of your loved ones and friends, I am the good shepherd that tends to their every need. I am trustworthy.

Lord I do want to completely trust you. Help me in my unbelief.

Amen

Fear Not

Lord I still am having trouble keeping my eyes on you. I worry over things I have said and done, they eat away at me. I lay them at Your feet and admit my powerlessness over them, only Your strength and love and beauty can cleanse me of this meanness and violence. God why am I so violent and mean? How do I feel so threatened and afraid of everyone so that I strike out like a cornered wild animal? You are with me why do I still fear and attack with preemptive strikes? Lord I am sitting in these ashes asking You to heal my soul. May I be so aware of your presence and so immersed in your ocean of mercy and river of love that my soul stays at peace. 

When something disturbs me Lord, help me to quickly find its source and surrender it to your love and gaze in your face looking for my next action of love with regard to this thing that disturbs me. And when all I see is your beautiful face smiling back at me with no answer on your lips may I learn to enjoy your presence and completely trust that you will show me what to do and that even at that moment you are working things out for the good for whatever concerns my heart.

Son look into my eyes and know that I hold all things together and weave all things for the good. Lucifer and his demons have no authority here any more and the more that reality sinks in the more frenzied their attempts to hang on to ground they are daily losing to my flood of mercy. Their sandbags are pointless, their hateful gates cannot stand against the tide of my love. Outward appearances are all the news media can focus on but I see hearts longing for divine love and mercy and I have an endless supply of it. Simply abide in me, be my troubadour of light, my hands, my feet, my mouth, my embrace of love, my smile of compassion.. Be me to them, allow me to flow through you. Fret not Sebastian. I am surrounding you and within you, what have you to fear for nothing can separate us, no one can steel you away from me or me from you. Even you can't really get rid of me the hound of heaven ;)

O Lord I so do not want to get rid of you right now! At this divine instant I want to dwell in You always and never leave your side. I wish to stay mindful of Your presence more and more that I may mindfully and with great care, patience and tenderness pour Your presence through myself onto all those around me like a wonderful fountain gushing abundantly everywhere at a water park, blown by the wind of Your Holy Spirit and splashing all over everyone near it.

I love You Lord.

I love you son.

I love you Mother and all you Holy lovers of God!

And we love you Fred and pray for you.

Focus on Jesus not the Storm

Good morning Jesus! Lord I have sensed you saying something about how common it is in this version of the world for people to be in my position. That it is just another suffering servant / man of sorrows thing.

Yes my son, I have made you unique in many ways but this is not one of them. Countless of my sons and daughters throughout history have experienced the same things you have in this area and are experiencing it today more than ever. To have a demon / oppressor / slaver exalted to a level of a god in a culture is quite common. In fact it is so common as to seem normal in your times. Consider the phrase 'Truth in advertising' … what a joke!! Seriously!?! Hahaha! I find that one humorous, that they have to legislate that there must at least be a grain of truth in their adds. So many of the promises in these adds are so oppressive and they draw people pied piper like deeper into their addictions.

The advertising world, driven by consumerist greed, avarice and acquisitiveness fuels the compulsive behaviors of so many of my children. It does this unapologetically and the compulsions themselves become mandated gods who oppress and enslave people and demand worship. Think of the entire food empire, alcohol, clothing, tobacco, coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, prescription drugs… All of them glamorized beyond reason and promising what they cannot possibly deliver. All of them oppressing and enslaving countless thousands and in each case the culture gets on board embracing them as the best thing ever. Moby said it well, everything is wrong in this area.

So you are not alone at all. Most of my children daily face a world that holds out the oppressors and slavers in their lives as good guys that are here to help them. There is nothing new under the sun. Indeed, the demons of lust and compromise are certainly two of the worst and most ubiquitous. Fear not however, these passions are no match for a soul that abides in me. For where I am, as you have both heard and seen, the demons flee. I have overcome the world. Go forth today encouraged in that truth, for I am the Truth, the Way and the Life!

Thank you Jesus for bringing this all together for me this morning! I am so grateful for you encouraging words. I love you Lord!

In light of this truth I see how fruitless it is to be resentful towards my oppressors/slavers and those who either purposely our unintentionally embrace them as pals. I am instead to focus on Jesus, gaze into his face and walk on the water towards him ignoring the waves and the wind and the lightning and the rain!

Fantastic view from underwater
By Yongsung Kim

Lord I surrender all my resentment and anger towards this world full of demonic waves, oppressors, slavers and full of people like myself who have embraced them as friends. I completely trust you Lord as I walk out onto these chaotic waters and happily ignore the demons swirling around me and I gaze on your face. Only you can keep me afloat. Only you can give me the eyes of compassion I need to see those around me that are in the same situation, struggling to look to you and like me often sinking into the water and crying out for help.

(Please support the work of Yongsung Kim!)
 

Surrendering My Right to be Voldemort

Obsessing over part of someone’s body
Is as violent as making Horcruxes

Lord Jesus I am reminded of how violent Tom Riddle was. In order to get what he lusted after He murdered people to purposely rip his own soul. It is that kind of violence I do when I lust after fellow creatures, when I tear them apart and obsess over the symbols of intimacy and nurture built into their body … well, at that moment I am being Voldemort. God I don't want to be Voldemort today or ever. If only I could see what was happening spiritually with my physical eyes I would be horrified… I imagine it would be something like a dementor when they sucked the souls out of people, only I am sucking the body parts that symbolize intimacy and nurture into my mind to obsess over and feast upon them as if they could satisfy my true longings. I am horrified at what I do and now I finally am understanding why Father uses the word integrated a lot in his homilies, because what I do as an addict is disintegrate people and creatures; tear them into pieces and rob them of their loving relational connectedness with God and others.

Lord if I don't ever do that again it will be too soon!! Lord the instant the dementor like sucking starts, or even before it starts, stop me and help me name them and place them in a loving relational context and pray for them and their family and friends and relationship with you and their dreams and the work of their hands and all the good in them. Let me never ever tear another human or creature apart to fill up my misguided hunger and thirst. Then let me run to you with my emptiness and feast on You the Bread of Life and drink You the Living Water stronger than wine. Only you can fill my soul Lord. Like you said before:

Praying for these people (and creatures) and their families and their relationship with me is the biggest gift you can give them and helps you reframe them in a loving relational context. Whenever you are tempted to take from them or anyone in that way, give them a name and a family and a relationship with Me in your heart and then pray for all of that specifically. Use the five point prayer (see below) or as much of it as you can remember.

Lord have mercy on me and heal my sick and twisted mind. I want to love and give like you did Lord, not rip and tear and take.

Become one with me and you will love and give like me. This is my desire for you that you stay with me always in your heart and meditate on my presence and speak with me and take my council continually. Trust me in your meetings with Scott and Jared and every aspect of your work today. I will show you what to say and do and teach you the love and selflessness.

I do trust you Lord, help my unbelief!

____________

THE FIVE POINT PRAYER

Any time you make someone an object of your lust, desire, anger, bitterness, resentment, rage… PRAY FOR THEM! It is a gift to them. Give instead of take. Give them back their humanity. (The “10th Wheel” SA White Book p162)

Pray…

1) That they be purified and healed so they may be exempt from all evil
2) That they would know You (God) and love You in return
3) That they would be protected against any and all attacks of the enemy
4) For purification and healing in all their relationships
5) For a blessing on the work of their hands.

May the 4th Be With You

Star Wars Day… Most significant myth of our times, a good dream sent by God to humanity of heroic deeds, sacrificial love, unexplainable forces just beyond our senses, darkness and light, good triumphing over evil, and so on. But only a dream.

Reality however is found in Christ Jesus our Lord. And reality is a person, not just a life force I can manipulate to my will, but a good King to whom I submit my will. A shepherd King who lays His life down for the sheep and conquers death, sin and hell. One who leads me beside still waters and restores my soul. He is the Bread from heaven and the Living Water. The world is bursting with His loving presence just beneath the surface of things, it is slowly bursting through the cracks like beams of light.

Yes my divine mercy is going out into all the universe, it is there for all, lapping at the feet of every person ready for them to plunge into, but O the clever devices you design to insulate yourselves from my love. I Am here, but most will not invite me in to heal and restore their souls. It makes my heart sad, but they must come willingly, responding to the reality of my love. They must wake from their dreams of gaming and puzzle solving and reveling and storytelling and see what these all point to. They must willingly see the source, it is a delicate gift of interactive love I offer, who will tell them? Whom can I send?

Here am I Lord, send me. But grant that the fiery coal of Thine all-holy Body and precious Blood be for the sanctification, enlightenment and strengthening of my wretched soul and body, for the relief from the burden of my many transgressions, for my preservation against every demonic activity, for the trampling down and averting of my careless and evil habits, for the mortification of passions, for obedience to Thy commandments, for growth in Thy divine grace and for the inheritance of Thy kingdom.

I need cleansing, healing and strengthening continually..

Yes abide in me, we can do great things together if you abide in me.

Amen.
Thank you Lord.

God’s Continual Whispers of Love

If he said it yesterday,
He is still whispering it today

Do not hesitate to review all or part of what I have said to you previously. I have not stopped saying them but am whispering them all to you all the time. Remember how I warned Eustace and Jill how the air was thicker down in Narnia than in my country and that it would be important for them to review my words often, to repeat and memorize them out loud with each other. So it is with scripture and my words to you personally directly or through others. You can review them if you write them down and you should, often and out loud with others if you can. Do not be afraid to review your journal because you haven't completed what I am instructing / have instructed you to do… Remember that these words of Mine to you are continual like breath, I shall be whispering them to you all the time. Do not be distraught or discouraged by what you have not completed or perfected but rather rejoice that there is so much to do, so many acts of love both to continue and to complete.

Mother Earth Father Sky

Yes Lord I am listening to you say more to me about the Mother Earth/Father Sky approach. From what I have learned from my catechism classes, Mother is Mater or matter, the physical things of the earth. Father is Pater or pattern, the one who provides the blueprint for forming the matter.

The question I have is why is there such a push against Father Sky or at least an ignoring of Him right now? Does the push to embrace, understand, love, protect, etc. Mother Earth have to negate, ignore or in some cases even be hostile to Father Sky?

Lord Jesus, I ask you to enlighten me and give me listening ears and a listening face towards my daughter and all the strong women in my life that love Mother Earth so much and seemingly ignore Father Sky or refuse speak of You. There is much fear I sense here, afraid of previous abuses perhaps? Afraid Father Sky is NOT to be trusted since His followers have treated mothers at all levels so poorly.

It seams to me that the ancient reverence for Mother Church, Mary should indicate a warmth and love towards motherliness on all levels by at least part of the Church. It seems that at least parts of the flock 'gets it'… the importance of Mother Earth, motherliness, nurturing…

Very much looking forward to seeing old friends… Lord Jesus give me a kind listening face and open ears. Help me to draw out what others love and are interested in and encourage the gifts I find that you have given them today.

Thank you Lord that I was able to go to mass today on the day that we remember the annunciation.

Glory to God for all things!

Yes the earth is mother, matter, in fact in a way all created things are connected and are mother to you. This is a good understanding. And Mother Earth produced The Quintessential Mother, Mary the Mother of God, the Star Gate, The Divine Ladder of ascent and descent, the Mountain of the Lord, the Ark of the Covenant, The Mercy Seat, and so many other beautiful metaphors that describe Her, Heaven and Earth are united in Her and Her Son Jesus. The Quintessential Mother Earth is also the Queen of Heaven. Heaven and Earth have united. The completion and unity of all things has begun.

She is the Star Gate and I did pass through Her and she opened the way, the portal is open because of Her, I have her DNA, without it the Portal would close. I have become everywhere present and filling all things because of Her and with Her permission. Her 'let it be' changed the universe.

Thank you Lord for the clarification!

On Purgation

…purgation/cleansing is in many Christian songs about the after life. Amy Grant combines fire, water, and wind. You all use the earth (burial) to cleanse the stench of death from necessity. So the four elements have always rose up to aid you in your passage into the afterlife, no? Every reference to earth, wind, water and fire… These are agents of cleansing/purging impurities. There is no fear in this, you have simply moved away from such natural understandings in your world so that when you see it as a doctrine in church that is more connected to that naturalness, it seems strange to you. Do not let it trouble you, all will be made clear by my Spirit who leads you into all truth.

Surrendering Outcomes and Giving Up Control

Listening is an act of love…

3/30/16
You tried to listen to what I was saying about your sponsee and then relay that to him. You did a loving thing by speaking my heart of love to him. Now leave the outcomes of that action to me. Leaving the outcomes of your acts of love and hope to me is what faith is, you trust Me to multiply and grow those good seeds you've sown. This understanding of what it means to trust me needs to be emphasized with those in recovery especially. You must move from trusting in your own mechanisms to get results to finding the next loving thing to do and then letting it go, completely trusting me to weave the results of that action into something more beautiful than you ever could if you had tried to manipulate and control it, to make sure it was understood and took root… No. That is my domain and you should not tread there with your thoughts, words or actions. You must leave space for my Spirit to move, don't crowd the Master Painter as his brush strokes fall, don't bump his elbow or force his hand, allow my Holy Spirit to paint as He will, stand back and watch Me work until you are called on to speak my love again. Your actions and words of love are the paint and perhaps the brush but you are not the painter, I am.

Put on your listening ears again and speak my love to your sponsee tonight if I call you to, otherwise just listen and leave space for me to work as he relays his story to you. Just listening is an action of love. (Yes, like your friend Ted) In fact, do this with everyone you encounter today.

I have never forgotten Ted's patient, loving and listening face. Why has that stayed with me so long? Where did he learn to do that? Perhaps I should ask him. I'm thinking it was his father. I see that face in so many of my friends and family. It is more noticeable in some than others. I want to convey the listening face of love as well, like you Jesus. I want your loving, listening face. I always want to be trusting that your goodness is in everyone somewhere and fanning that spark to flame when I see it however Your Spirit moves me to do it.

_____________

3/31/16
Leave the outcomes of what you said to your sponsee to me. Trust me to heal how he views me. You have primed the pump with My Living Water now stand back and watch me work.

_____________

4/1/16
Cannot focus this morning Lord. I am grateful to be in your presence Lord! Thank you for the meeting with my brothers this morning. I am so blessed by your love and light through them.

______________

4/2/16
I want you to put on your listening ears and face every day and every encounter during your journey. Trust me to help you listen to me and others. Draw out the light and liquid gold you find there and show it to them with all thanksgiving to the Father of lights who bestows such gifts upon men and women. Truly be interested in their affairs and speak lovingly of what they do that is admirable, look around the obstacles to see the sources of light and love in their lives and affirm them and praise God for them.

Additionally, no cross talk. Don't speak of your visions unless prompted by them or clearly by me. I love you, abide in me and remember we are united you and I.

____________

4/3/16
Listening face, know their names, get to know them and why I love each of them so much.

The Matrix in Slow Motion

(Notice this is all bold text, aka Papa speaking to Seb - Leeloo)

In the Matrix Neo had to take the death blow in order to get inside the enemy did he not? Only from the inside could he eradicate the virus that was Smith. The movie depicts it as all happening in seconds, the punch, the absorption of Neo into Smith, the look of horror on Smith's face as he realizes he has just sealed his own doom, the light of Neo's power beginning to burst through little fissures in all the Smith Viruses, the explosive destruction of all those viruses, the resetting and renewal of the entire Matrix, all of it only took a minute or two in the movie. Such is the nature of prophetic vision. It has disregard for how things play out in earth time. In earth time the actual growing of the light through the fissures in the virus has thus far taken nearly 2000 years, though the look of horror on Smith's face is growing daily and he fights ever harder to hold his kingdom together. His doom is sealed though he will fight it to the bitter end. The children of the Light will triumph and through them I make all things new. Through every crack and brokenness my mercy will flood and burst through with healing light. Darkness will die by being overwhelmed with light forever.

All the Agent Smiths exploding in an instant once Neo the anti-virus took effect…
Jesus is doing the same thing in the cosmos in a slightly more measured fashion

Light shines through the cracks of our brokenness.

The Opposite of Star Wars

NOT!!!!

My feelings cannot be trusted. This is not Star Wars. Not in that way. I must take actions because they are loving whether I feel like it or not. Whether or not my feelings follow is at best an event I view as a bemused spectator.

My actions are Thomas the tank engine and my feelings are the caboose not the other way around. I trust Jesus to lead me into loving actions, he is my engineer in the train analogy and keeps me on the right tracks. If the caboose follows during any particular loving action, I am to be mildly amused, but not obsess over it either way.

I think this is what the monks and nuns call detachment. It isn't that I have no feelings or don't care. It is simply not allowing my feelings and emotions to lead me around by grabbing my metaphorical nose ring or promoting themselves from caboose to engineer.

I say to my feelings in calming tones "Jesus tells me where to go and what to do, not you anymore. He is trustworthy and you are not."