Light Shines Through the Cracks

Lord I botched lunch with R. with my anger over J., I resent J. and His arrogance and manipulation. I resent the Church's resistance to solid 12 step spirituality that J. seams to embody. I resent the way he draws attention to himself. Lord I surrender all this anger and resentment to You. I have no right to think such thoughts.

Yes son, focus instead on the good things I have done and do not detract from them by calling out the bad. I use his style of communication to reach a population that does not value the way of 12 step spirituality. They like preaching and rhythm and a certain style of delivery. They like straight talk directly into their lives and J. brings that. Suffice it to say I have blessed him with all his flaws just as I have blessed you with all your flaws. Do not envy the way I have blessed him nor try to force him to follow your ideas of what will truly free people imprisoned by their addictions. I use all models and approaches in spite of their weaknesses. 

Light shines through the cracks remember? And you and J. are both cracked and broken and self willed but you are both surrendering to me more and more in various ways and this is progress and allows me to heal your souls and my Divine Mercy can magically flow through you to others.

I also resent the continual chaos my kids bring here. Family nights are like a cheese grater directly on my brain sometimes. I surrender my irritation to You Lord and I do see the good healthiness in their loving interactions. I want your joy to be my strength in these situations even when I am playing Martha. Thank You for allowing me to be Mary by reading the gospel to supply some spiritual food to go with the physical. Thank you for being present with us last night.

Amen.