It’s Not for Those That Need It… It’s for Those That Want It

Serve your family and friends well today son. Turn to me moment by moment for the next thought, prayer, word or action of love. Especially your friends at small group tonight, do not force the 12 Steps onto them, you have those within your recovery fellowship to connect with regarding that joy in your life. If asked, answer short enough to leave them wanting more, and only go on if prompted by them.

Lord it is so hard to contain my joy and enthusiasm for spiritual recovery in my life. I want to share it with everyone! I want to tell the whole world how good You are!

This is a good response to my Love which laps at everyone's feet for them to plunge into just as you have. It is good and right and beautiful that you want that deep plunging for everyone. Trust me son, I would have everyone plunge in and receive what you are receiving. But remember that for much of your life you yourself were not ready to take that plunge. There were many road blocks that had to be removed along the way and everyone that hasn't made the plunge a daily and moment by moment part of their lives has them. Even you haven't had all yours removed yet. So completely trust me with your friends and family. I am drawing them into myself just as I drew you in. Trust me to give you cues and nudges when to speak, otherwise speak with your actions, thoughts and prayers of love without any vocalization of what is going on inside. Sometimes that speaks louder and it tills the ground for words that can be sown later by me or others or perhaps you, but remember I have others who can speak to their hearts too and trust me completely to coordinate that and time it perfectly.

I do so want to trust you more with that Lord, help me please.

I am always helping son, and breathing love into you and through you.

Thank you Lord, Amen.

Reframe or Spiral Down

Fear has become toxic to me Lord. I no longer want to live in fear. Too much of my life has been swallowed up by the crippling cycle of fear > control > anger > resentment > bitterness > drug of choice > repeat. It is the way of death. You are life Lord. Trusting in Your life giving love and mercy, completely trusting You with child like faith, that is the key for me.

Yes son, trust me with every thought, person, place and situation… surrender them to my love and mercy, allow me to reframe your perspective moment by moment and guide you before you respond to it on your own strength and wisdom. Pause, look into my face, surrender, ignore the waves, focus, listen, completely trust me for I will never leave you nor forsake you, my love is stronger than death.

The same sun that melts the wax can harden clay and
The same rain that drowns the rat can grow the hay and
The mighty wind that knocks you down if you lean into it
Can blow your fears away.

See, reframing your perspective. Glass half empty or half full. Look for me working in the middle of pain and suffering especially, be the happy fool who embraces the cross and its suffering, laying down your life for others. Trust me son, I've been through it and I can lead you through it too. I know the way. Trust me to teach you how to think, what to say and what to do for your next action of love moment by moment.

I do trust you Lord, help me to trust you more and more, more continuously and more completely.

I will son.

Amen

Happy Fool Notions

Per usual Lord, too much to do in a single day. I look to you as the source of my life, strength and joy to face the day one moment at a time. Looking to you for guidance on how to proceed and choosing what to do and not to do. I want to hear your voice throughout the day Lord, that stream of divine mercy words flowing out from you to me and the whole world, may I be one of those trees growing by that river bearing fruit for the nations. I want to be rooted deeply in your mercy Lord and no longer be a sagebrush rolling around independently…. Help me take root in you Lord and grow strong in your love and strength. 

I am happy to flow through you son, rejoice that it is so. Give glory to God for the tiny ways I can trickle my love through you moment by moment and remember the magic of the stream in my Holy Prophet Ezekiel… yes remember Master Yoda saying "judge me by my size will you?" But also remember that I am more than an impersonal force of all living things … I am a person, and I give life to all things. This is scary to most people, they prefer the impersonal force because it seems more controllable. But my mercy goes where it will because it has a mind and is a person, Me, Myself, I AM Mercy and love abounding and I am not a tame lion, you cannot control me. This scares people. Blessed are you son for meeting me in the pages of Narnia and knowing that though I am not tame, I am good, trustworthy and loving.

Yes Lord I do rejoice in knowing you this morning, I love that you are a person I can talk to and listen to. I am a little sad that I cannot share this with others as much as I desire to bless them… it seems in our culture the notion of hearing you speak is for the mentally ill or those suffering delusions of grandeur (Han said this about Luke being a Jedi). Yet here I am Lord and though I cannot see you as St. Faustina and so many others did, I can at least hear your voice a little when I pay attention. I do rejoice in what the world sees as insane and weak and lame and foolish.

Remember what I said through my servant Paul:

The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the learning of the learned I will set aside.”

Where is the wise one? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made the wisdom of the world foolish? For since in the wisdom of God the world did not come to know God through wisdom, it was the will of God through the foolishness of the proclamation to save those who have faith. For Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we proclaim Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those who are called, Jews and Greeks alike, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.

Consider your own calling, brothers. Not many of you were wise by human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. Rather, God chose the foolish of the world to shame the wise, and God chose the weak of the world to shame the strong, and God chose the lowly and despised of the world, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who are something, so that no human being might boast before God. It is due to him that you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God, as well as righteousness, sanctification, and redemption, so that, as it is written, “Whoever boasts, should boast in the Lord.”

Yes, thank you for reminding me of it Lord. I should be happy to endure a little contempt from the world for saying I hear your voice, that I can tune into it and single it out among the billions of voices screaming and clamoring for my attention. Compared to the contempt and scorn you received on the cross, ''tis but a scratch!". I go forth now as another happy fool in the eyes of the world.

This song by The Choir catches it well:

Wise people sing out loud
"Beware the killer cloud
The air we breathe!"
Why should we cry along?
I know a happy song
So sing with me

Some hear the drumming rain
They fear a hurricane
Why should we run?
Let's fix the roof instead
Wear helmets on our heads
Till kingdom come

I'd tremble, truth be told
Should someone dear grow cold
I'd pray for fire
So stay with me tonight
We'll dance 'til morning light
Love is no liar

Happy fool reasons have I
Happy fool notions have you
I say the sky is as blue as the ocean
You say you know it's true

So tie your shoelaces
To my shoelaces
I'll tie a rope to a tree
We'll see how the wind whips
Happy fool faces
Come blow away with me


You shall go out with joy
And be led forth with peace,
The mountains and the hills
Will break forth before you.
There'll be shouts of joy
And the trees of the fields
Will clap, will clap their hands.

And the trees of the fields will clap their hands,
And the trees of the fields will clap their hands,
And the trees of the fields will clap their hands,
While you go out with joy.
(Isa. 55:12)


Amen

Trusting God with Outcomes

10/11/16

Lord I pray for all my sponsees and friends in recovery that we can all learn together to connect with you and journal what we hear and share it with each other in a way that is mutually beneficial. Lord I am thankful that this is such an integral part of the program. I hope to find those pamphlets about how to connect with You and make them a part of our literature that we can set out on Saturday mornings. I had no idea this was such a central theme in all 12 step programs, but I do admit that I have heard A and others who have been in the program a long time talk about "doing a 10th step" on something which means connecting with one's higher power and journaling the connection for later reflection. I guess I was just to dense to see what that meant.

Lord I am nervous today that I won't pause enough to listen to your voice. I will start right now.

Son I am always with you, whispering loving and good things to you. Turn to me often today and realize I am right there with you, in you and working through you to the measure you allow it. Completely trust me with J, K, and all your friends in recovery. I am moving among them and love them more than you do. I am awakening in all of them a desire to truly connect with me and have that displace their need for lust. This is not your work, this is mine. You cannot force this to happen, it is a gift. You can suggest it, carry the message just like Pastor J suggested it to you. But you had to receive it and adopt it yourself. I know you desperately want them to experience what you are experiencing because it is giving you joy and healing your soul. You want that for others and that is good and generous and right. Giving it away is your primary task. Simply remember that in giving something away, you cannot control the outcomes. You mustn't try to control what people do with gifts you give. It must be left up to them to work that out with me. Completely trust me to work it out with them and them with me.

Lord I am so bad at trusting you with the outcomes of the gifts I give to others. I want to trust you Lord. And I realize that though my intentions are good that I often get in your way. I want to learn to give the gift and get out of the way and not take it personal when the gift is cast aside.

Yes son, consider it a seed planted and fully realize that many seeds are often required before one takes root and grows. That is a simple principle of growth and farming that truly applies to a human soul which is indeed like a garden. A little pruning here, a little fertilizing there, planting a seed here and watering it… but this is done by many hands and you must trust me to coordinate all this work. I alone see the big picture.

Yes Lord, I am starting to see. Thank you!

Sts. Photini, Lucy and Frederick, pray for me and all of us who cannot see and hear well at all.

Amen.

Teaching Others Two Way Prayer

10/10/16

Lord I'm listening…

You are becoming desperate for J and S and K and all of your friends in recovery to connect with me as you have learned. You see now the validation of what Fr. J has been teaching you within the program… that listening to my voice and writing down what you hear and then actually talking about it with others that are recovering from a self centered life is critical and required if you want a daily reprieve from the misery of lust, anger, rage, and whatever other drugs or passions are trying to enslave you.

Son it is I who have placed the desire to have them all practice this two way prayer in your heart, but be careful not to let your good longing for them turn into frustration, anger or bitterness. I love each of them more than you do and you don't see me getting mad at them do you? Be patient and loving and kind and encouraging. Whisper words of encouragement and love to them, speak to the good that you see in their hearts, identify it out loud to them, show them how their longings to connect are good but misplaced. Speak to them if how you misdirected your longings and finally turned to me the Bread of Life, the Living Water and learned to feast on my presence instead.

Lord I felt an awakening this past weekend. Protect what you have stirred in their hearts Lord… don't let the enemy snatch it away like he has for me so many times, I am so slow to learn.

Ahhh, so there is your fear son, that I won't keep whispering this same message of love to each of them continually. Remember, I am always whispering love and mercy to them… I am continually telling them the most wondrous things, trust that I never stop! And also trust that I care for each of them deeply and will guide them like a good shepherd into the fold of my divine presence, love and mercy and I will teach them to listen to me as well and write it down and have two way communication. Journaling is fine tuning the radio to my voice so you can hear it better. Instead of vague notions, you hear actual words, thoughts and paragraphs this way, yes? Of course yes.

I love you son!

I love You too Papa.

Amen.

Bible Study on Divine Mercy

[Seb attended some night classes at a nearby Parish where the the Pastor expounded on some of the Biblical images of Divine Mercy]

10/4/16

Fr J's words and my notes:

The Meaning of God's Mercy Part IV- Bible Images of God's Mercy

Fr. J:
A mental image can strongly determine how you see or understand something. If you have the image of a harsh and domineering father in your memory, your understanding God as Father is skewed and grossly distorted. It will actually blind you to the reality of who God is. On the other hand, the right image can enable you to correctly see and penetrate into a deep understanding of someone or something.

Ezekiel 47:1-12. The Wonderful Stream.
Then he brought me back to the entrance of the temple, and there! I saw water flowing out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east, for the front of the temple faced east. The water flowed out toward the right side of the temple to the south of the altar. He brought me by way of the north gate and around the outside to the outer gate facing east; there I saw water trickling from the southern side. When he continued eastward with a measuring cord in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and had me wade through the water; it was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and once more had me wade through the water; it was up to the knees. He measured another thousand cubits and had me wade through the water; it was up to my waist. Once more he measured off a thousand cubits. Now it was a river I could not wade across. The water had risen so high, I would have to swim—a river that was impassable. Then he asked me, “Do you see this, son of man?” He brought me to the bank of the river and had me sit down. As I was returning, I saw along the bank of the river a great many trees on each side. He said to me, “This water flows out into the eastern district, runs down into the Arabah and empties into the polluted waters of the sea to freshen them. Wherever it flows, the river teems with every kind of living creature; fish will abound. Where these waters flow they refresh; everything lives where the river goes. Fishermen will stand along its shore from En-gedi to En-eglaim; it will become a place for drying nets, and it will abound with as many kinds of fish as the Great Sea. Its marshes and swamps shall not be made fresh, but will be left for salt. Along each bank of the river every kind of fruit tree will grow; their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail. Every month they will bear fresh fruit because the waters of the river flow out from the sanctuary. Their fruit is used for food, and their leaves for healing.”

Fr. J:
This is an image of the immense river of God's mercy that flows out from the heart of God into the world. When the heart of Jesus was pierced by a lance, blood and water flowed forth, identifying the river's source and destination: the regeneration of the life of the world:

John 19:34-35:
But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs, but one soldier thrust his lance into his side, and immediately blood and water flowed out. An eyewitness has testified, and his testimony is true; he knows that he is speaking the truth, so that you also may [come to] believe.

2 Kings 5:10:
Naaman came with his horses and chariot and stopped at the door of Elisha’s house. Elisha sent him the message: “Go and wash seven times in the Jordan, and your flesh will heal, and you will be clean.” But Naaman went away angry, saying, “I thought that he would surely come out to me and stand there to call on the name of the Lord his God, and would move his hand over the place, and thus cure the leprous spot. Are not the rivers of Damascus, the Abana and the Pharpar, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be cleansed?” With this, he turned about in anger and left.

But his servants came up and reasoned with him: “My father, if the prophet told you to do something extraordinary, would you not do it? All the more since he told you, ‘Wash, and be clean’?” So Naaman went down and plunged into the Jordan seven times, according to the word of the man of God. His flesh became again like the flesh of a little child, and he was clean.

Fr. J:
These images are Divinely given to allow us to correctly see, understand and experience God's Mercy. They emphasize one point: You have to plunge in! With hope and trust, covered though you be in leprosy, you must plunge in. If you plunge into a river of water and stay immersed, you will cease to breathe and die. With this river you plunge in to begin to breathe and come to life again. We are drowning in a world of anger, violence and death. Our sins hold us captive in it.

This has a direct application to how we worship at Mass, how we approach and receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation, how we pray, how we struggle with sin, and how we deal with others struggling with sin. We will explore these here, in the worship aid, in the near future.

___________

My notes on his lecture:

We are not God. He does not think or act like us. We should not make God into our image, he is not an echo of us, we are an echo of him. And we are badly broken, wounded and sick so our echo is not so very accurate of the original song of love.

Isaiah 55, my ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts.

If God's loving thoughts didn't sustain the chair I am sitting on, it would cease to exist. Let that soak in. He is everywhere present and filling (sustaining) all things in his love.

When we ignore God he does not draw away and pout, he remains a God of love who remains there, present and sustaining us just like the rest of the universe or we would cease to exist. God has no need or desire to punish us, that is our stinking thinking. The consequences of our foolishness may catch up to us yes and we see God's lack of intervention to fix our mess as his punishment, but this simply is not God's business.

God's mercy is all around us, lapping at our feet, all we have to do is step in, open our hearts and let it flow in, let the river of life flow in and through me. His love radiates continually and swirls around all of us continually, no matter our response to him. There is an infinite amount of mercy and love we are swimming in, we simply must break through this little shell of self absorption to tap into it. The only step to tapping into this is to want it, to want that love to change who I am into a creature of love and selflessness. I hate when someone ignores me I turn away, I hate when I get home tired I isolate and won't give any more to anyone.

God's business is to redeem, heal and regenerate life. [If we take this as our basic approach to scripture it greatly simplifies everything--EVERYTHING can be plugged into this theme in our Judaeo-Christian heritage]. The river of life flowing out of the temple and getting deeper and deeper and swallowing the whole world in his mercy.

There's a river of life flowing out of me
Makes the lame to walk and the blind to see
Opens prison doors sets the captives free
There's a river of life flowing out of me

Spring up Oh well within my soul
Spring up Oh well and make me whole
Spring up Oh well flow out from me
That life abundantly

This river of love started when God created everything and decided to sustain it. It was our fall that isolated us from this river... Insulated us from it quite well actually. Jesus comes to remind us of this flowing merciful river that has always been there for us. He appeals for us to receive it, to become open to it and receive what has always been there. He enfleshes in graphic detail this powerful love flowing out of his very flesh in a stream of blood and water, He wants to make it plain!! And he does.

Naaman of Syria the leper.

7 plunges into the river and he is clean! 7 is a number of completion or perfection.

Confession is a plunging into the river that is already around you.

It simply requires a desire to not be a leper any more... I don't want to act out of my woundedness any more, I want to act out of God's love and mercy that flows freely around, in and through me. I need to be healed, I have the desire to be healed, this objectifies the problem and God can pull it away.. It is outside of me and God can cleanse it. This problem is not me, it is not who I was created, it is just a problem, some stinking thinking and actions that I have fallen into. If I name it then it becomes more apparent that it is not part of me, it is just a sickness that God can heal, a stain that he can wash, an attitude that he can adjust by the outpouring of his mercy and grace.

Affirm others who are acting against God's loving way by affirming the good God has put in them, the love that pours through them. I am glad that you have love for each other... This cohabitation is not something I agree is the best for you. But I am still happy that you love each other, that you live a life of selfless giving to each other, I truly find this beautiful. I find your level of commitment to each other a good starting point and very lovely to behold.

This is a prophecy of the death of Jesus, the living water and blood flowing from the side of Christ, redeeming, healing and regenerating life. This living water flows out and laps up to the door of every human heart and is there for the drinking and being healed thereby. BEAUTIFUL IMAGE.

This river flows always up to the threshold of every human heart. God always stands with open arms like the Father in the prodigal son story - that is who God is, he never withdraws His love no matter how we respond. This river flowed up against the heart of those we love to hate as well, Hitler, Sadaam Hussein - God's love is continuous as revealed by Christ and the Divine Mercy in His sacrificial death, the blood and water flowing out from His side is that mercy and the source of the trickle here in.

We are commanded to plunge into this river of mercy again and again, ...

I stand, stand in the water
Knee deep, deep in the water
Now down, I go under
And rise up, rise up for ever!!!!
-- DA

Naaman plunged in seven times to become clean... But isn't it more a desire to grow in love continually and the sacrament is one of regeneration, of growing in love and a calling to jump in the pool.

Thank you for these images of your Mercy Papa! I love you!

We Love you son, go to work in peace today and use your gifts to serve others.

I will Papa. Mmmmmmwwwhaaa!