Papa Speaks About Agency

 You whispered something to me perhaps in my sleep Papa?

Yes son, helping you understand what is meant by the idea of giving back someone their agency. When someone is abused by others or themselves they can very quickly lose their agency, that is they feel they have no choice other than to allow the abuse to continue. In fact, especially in addiction, certain acts can cease to seem like the abuse that it actually is to one's self. This drink, food, sex, drug, purchase, (etc.) makes me feel better momentarily and therefore it isn't perceived as an abuse of one's own will when they feel they have no choice to make the craving go away other than to fulfill it.

Giving them back their ability to chose is what recovery and a Spirit led life is all about. "Choose you this day" is almost an inconceivable concept to one caught up in addiction or being abused by another.

As you walk with people in recover or as you do spiritual direction of any sort son, bear this in mind. You are inviting people on a path you yourself are learning to travel and showing them how you reclaimed your own agency... not in a simple and grasping 'will to power' but in learning to counterintuitively surrender your right to self-abusing acting out and cll upon your earthly and heavenly communities for the strength to do the next loving thing for yourself and others.

To those being abused it is just as complex for they have sometimes been made to feel less than a person, as unworthy of being treated with the dignity due to every person created in my image. As it was for you son, it is a conversion of heart and nothing less that is required. They must come to see themselves as beloved or little progress is made in reclaiming their agency and choosing to step out of the situation. Thisis why you have instinctively given away so many copies of Henry Nouwen's "Life of the Beloved", yes?

Yes indeed Papa, that makes perfect sense. But even as a self-abuser I needed that message just as badly - Thanks for the explanation Papa. Love you.

Love you too son.

Amen.

Religious or Spiritual?

Good morning Papa!

Good morning son!

Grateful for Fr J’s words about spirituality and religion yesterday.

Yes son, he drew it out well. I made all of you hybrids of spirit and matter. Every living soul has both. So really everyone is spiritual whether they realize it or not. One can neglect their spiritual hunger and ignore and abuse it until it is nearly dying. Or one can pay attention to their hunger and mistakenly try to feed it by dousing their bodies with all manner of things. Or one can actually feed that spiritual hunger with inappropriate things that are toxic to it. Last and best of all one might feed that spiritual hunger with helpful actions and thoughts and a focus on the transcendentals… what is true, good and beautiful.

Religion is simply disciplined spirituality. It exercises one’s spiritual muscles daily until a deep sense of what it means to be a decent human being is developed. The best religions develop this by connecting with me, the true God of all. The very best religion actually connects with me not just in spirit but also in the flesh and blood in the Eucharist and are thereby transformed by my body, blood, soul and divinity from the inside out.

Also remember that Fr. J drew a distinction between the definitions of discipline. I am not actively punitive as most of you believe, you’re all pretty good at punishing and destroying yourselves so my function is more one of mercifully preventing your self annihilation.

Consider the Webster definitions:

1: to punish or penalize for the sake of enforcing obedience and perfecting moral character

2: to train or develop by instruction and exercise especially in self-control

3a: to bring (a group) under control - discipline troops

3b:: to impose order upon - serious writers discipline and refine their writing styles

You see son, while I may allow some of the consequences of your own self-destructive tendencies to take their full effect (trust me, if I allowed them all to get through to you, humans would have long since ceased to exist!), even then I only allow those consequences in love and hope that they may move you back toward me, the source of all goodness and life.

With that in mind, you can see that definition 2 above is more in line how you should view your approach to spiritual realities. Like the best coach imaginable (yes Ted Lasso came to mind) the best religion provides disciplined instruction for you in appropriate body-soul exercises toward living a fully integrated life as the beautiful marriage of matter and spirt that you are.

Yes Papa this is a right and nuanced approach that makes very good sense. Thanks Papa!

You’re welcome son, I love you!

Love you too Papa!

Amen