Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Fear Not

Lord I still am having trouble keeping my eyes on you. I worry over things I have said and done, they eat away at me. I lay them at Your feet and admit my powerlessness over them, only Your strength and love and beauty can cleanse me of this meanness and violence. God why am I so violent and mean? How do I feel so threatened and afraid of everyone so that I strike out like a cornered wild animal? You are with me why do I still fear and attack with preemptive strikes? Lord I am sitting in these ashes asking You to heal my soul. May I be so aware of your presence and so immersed in your ocean of mercy and river of love that my soul stays at peace. 

When something disturbs me Lord, help me to quickly find its source and surrender it to your love and gaze in your face looking for my next action of love with regard to this thing that disturbs me. And when all I see is your beautiful face smiling back at me with no answer on your lips may I learn to enjoy your presence and completely trust that you will show me what to do and that even at that moment you are working things out for the good for whatever concerns my heart.

Son look into my eyes and know that I hold all things together and weave all things for the good. Lucifer and his demons have no authority here any more and the more that reality sinks in the more frenzied their attempts to hang on to ground they are daily losing to my flood of mercy. Their sandbags are pointless, their hateful gates cannot stand against the tide of my love. Outward appearances are all the news media can focus on but I see hearts longing for divine love and mercy and I have an endless supply of it. Simply abide in me, be my troubadour of light, my hands, my feet, my mouth, my embrace of love, my smile of compassion.. Be me to them, allow me to flow through you. Fret not Sebastian. I am surrounding you and within you, what have you to fear for nothing can separate us, no one can steel you away from me or me from you. Even you can't really get rid of me the hound of heaven ;)

O Lord I so do not want to get rid of you right now! At this divine instant I want to dwell in You always and never leave your side. I wish to stay mindful of Your presence more and more that I may mindfully and with great care, patience and tenderness pour Your presence through myself onto all those around me like a wonderful fountain gushing abundantly everywhere at a water park, blown by the wind of Your Holy Spirit and splashing all over everyone near it.

I love You Lord.

I love you son.

I love you Mother and all you Holy lovers of God!

And we love you Fred and pray for you.




Friday, June 24, 2016

Focus on Jesus not the Storm

Good morning Jesus! Lord I have sensed you saying something about how common it is in this version of the world for people to be in my position. That it is just another suffering servant / man of sorrows thing.

Yes my son, I have made you unique in many ways but this is not one of them. Countless of my sons and daughters throughout history have experienced the same things you have in this area and are experiencing it today more than ever. To have a demon / oppressor / slaver exalted to a level of a god in a culture is quite common. In fact it is so common as to seem normal in your times. Consider the phrase 'Truth in advertising' … what a joke!! Seriously!?! Hahaha! I find that one humorous, that they have to legislate that there must at least be a grain of truth in their adds. So many of the promises in these adds are so oppressive and they draw people pied piper like deeper into their addictions.

The advertising world, driven by consumerist greed, avarice and acquisitiveness fuels the compulsive behaviors of so many of my children. It does this unapologetically and the compulsions themselves become mandated gods who oppress and enslave people and demand worship. Think of the entire food empire, alcohol, clothing, tobacco, coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, prescription drugs… All of them glamorized beyond reason and promising what they cannot possibly deliver. All of them oppressing and enslaving countless thousands and in each case the culture gets on board embracing them as the best thing ever. Moby said it well, everything is wrong in this area.

So you are not alone at all. Most of my children daily face a world that holds out the oppressors and slavers in their lives as good guys that are here to help them. There is nothing new under the sun. Indeed, the demons of lust and compromise are certainly two of the worst and most ubiquitous. Fear not however, these passions are no match for a soul that abides in me. For where I am, as you have both heard and seen, the demons flee. I have overcome the world. Go forth today encouraged in that truth, for I am the Truth, the Way and the Life!


Thank you Jesus for bringing this all together for me this morning! I am so grateful for you encouraging words. I love you Lord!

In light of this truth I see how fruitless it is to be resentful towards my oppressors/slavers and those who either purposely our unintentionally embrace them as pals. I am instead to focus on Jesus, gaze into his face and walk on the water towards him ignoring the waves and the wind and the lightning and the rain!
Fantastic view from underwater
By Yongsung Kim

Lord I surrender all my resentment and anger towards this world full of demonic waves, oppressors, slavers and full of people like myself who have embraced them as friends. I completely trust you Lord as I walk out onto these chaotic waters and happily ignore the demons swirling around me and I gaze on your face. Only you can keep me afloat. Only you can give me the eyes of compassion I need to see those around me that are in the same situation, struggling to look to you and like me often sinking into the water and crying out for help.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Surrendering My Right to be Voldemort

Obsessing over part of someone’s body
Is as violent as making Horcruxes
Lord Jesus I am reminded of how violent Tom Riddle was. In order to get what he lusted after He murdered people to purposely rip his own soul. It is that kind of violence I do when I lust after fellow creatures, when I tear them apart and obsess over the symbols of intimacy and nurture built into their body … well, at that moment I am being Voldemort. God I don't want to be Voldemort today or ever. If only I could see what was happening spiritually with my physical eyes I would be horrified… I imagine it would be something like a dementor when they sucked the souls out of people, only I am sucking the body parts that symbolize intimacy and nurture into my mind to obsess over and feast upon them as if they could satisfy my true longings. I am horrified at what I do and now I finally am understanding why Father uses the word integrated a lot in his homilies, because what I do as an addict is disintegrate people and creatures; tear them into pieces and rob them of their loving relational connectedness with God and others.

Lord if I don't ever do that again it will be too soon!! Lord the instant the dementor like sucking starts, or even before it starts, stop me and help me name them and place them in a loving relational context and pray for them and their family and friends and relationship with you and their dreams and the work of their hands and all the good in them. Let me never ever tear another human or creature apart to fill up my misguided hunger and thirst. Then let me run to you with my emptiness and feast on You the Bread of Life and drink You the Living Water stronger than wine. Only you can fill my soul Lord. Like you said before:

Praying for these people (and creatures) and their families and their relationship with me is the biggest gift you can give them and helps you reframe them in a loving relational context. Whenever you are tempted to take from them or anyone in that way, give them a name and a family and a relationship with Me in your heart and then pray for all of that specifically. Use the five point prayer (see below) or as much of it as you can remember.

Lord have mercy on me and heal my sick and twisted mind. I want to love and give like you did Lord, not rip and tear and take.

Become one with me and you will love and give like me. This is my desire for you that you stay with me always in your heart and meditate on my presence and speak with me and take my council continually. Trust me in your meetings with Scott and Jared and every aspect of your work today. I will show you what to say and do and teach you the love and selflessness.

I do trust you Lord, help my unbelief!

____________

THE FIVE POINT PRAYER

Any time you make someone an object of your lust, desire, anger, bitterness, resentment, rage… PRAY FOR THEM! It is a gift to them. Give instead of take. Give them back their humanity. (The “10th Wheel” SA White Book p162)

Pray…

1) That they be purified and healed so they may be exempt from all evil
2) That they would know You (God) and love You in return
3) That they would be protected against any and all attacks of the enemy
4) For purification and healing in all their relationships
5) For a blessing on the work of their hands.