Look At Me, Not the Waves

7/12/16

Feeling alone, lethargic, confused, unloved, unwanted, ignored, unappreciated etc. Same old simmering fears, leading to resentment and anger likely as not. Lord I am powerless over this kind of thinking, only You can rescue me from it Lord. I'd rather have my mind stayed on You, the source of life and love throughout the day than any of that life killing stuff. You are the lifter of my chin and I miss being in your presence Lord.

I surrender also not knowing what to say to Fr. J. Maybe just a simple hand written note would be better.

Lord I submit my back pain to you today, whatever it is, another stone or whatever I give to You as a prayer for my family who I am rarely allowed to speak to concerning You… Or at least they aren't listening any more.

Help me to make some more amends this week.

I want to stay sober and in your presence today Lord… Keeping my eyes on You as the waves of chaos and life try to crush me and drown me.

I AM reaching out to You son, take my hand. I will never leave you nor forsake you. Trust in my love and my Spirit to guide you in every decision today. I am with you and remember my Divine Mercy laps at the feet of every soul and pours through the hearts of many that allow it. Look for that, look for my mercy pouring through others today and encourage and affirm it if the opportunity arises.

Remind me Lord Jesus, I will forget.

I will Son, I will be whispering it to you all day long… My voice is always there beneath the din whispering love and encouragement and guidance and gentle reproofs. My sheep hear my voice, I am constantly letting my voice lovingly go out to you, You need to listen to it INSTEAD of the other competing voices of fear, hatred, anger, violence and so on. Ignore the waves and look at me instead.

Yes Jesus, I want that. And Lord, I would learn self control of my angry knee jerk responses too, I'm trusting You to grow that fruit in me Lord.

I will and I AM.

Thank You Lord, I love You and want to do Your will not mine today.

Amen

__________

7/13/16

Reviewed my tumultuous past week emotionally speaking. My mind was not stayed on You Lord, I was not keeping up the discipline of constant conscious contact nor was I doing my set prayer times. Hoping for a better week, one where the peace of gazing at your face and walking on the water toward you in the midst of this storm dominate my thinking, where disturbance is displaced by the tranquility of your presence and completely trusting you to show me the next action of love.

I am always showing you the next loving thing to do, I am whispering it to you often before you ask, what is required is your attention to what I am saying. Your constant focus on me instead of the disturbances that surround you and creep into your heart. Only I can save your sons, his girlfriend, your daughters, your grand children, your wife, your brother, your Momma… Only I can save all your fellows in recovery. So simply look to me in complete trust that I will show you your part.

Pray for them and release them to my care and when I nudge you to interact with them, do it. When I nudge you to help them, do it, but with the very important attitude of completely trusting me with the outcome of those interactions. Do not be distracted by their responses or lack of responses outwardly, remember that I look directly into their hearts and can see their true responses which are largely none of your concern. These are between me and them. Trust me with the hearts of your loved ones and friends, I am the good shepherd that tends to their every need. I am trustworthy.

Lord I do want to completely trust you. Help me in my unbelief.

Amen

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]

Fear Not

Lord I still am having trouble keeping my eyes on you. I worry over things I have said and done, they eat away at me. I lay them at Your feet and admit my powerlessness over them, only Your strength and love and beauty can cleanse me of this meanness and violence. God why am I so violent and mean? How do I feel so threatened and afraid of everyone so that I strike out like a cornered wild animal? You are with me why do I still fear and attack with preemptive strikes? Lord I am sitting in these ashes asking You to heal my soul. May I be so aware of your presence and so immersed in your ocean of mercy and river of love that my soul stays at peace. 

When something disturbs me Lord, help me to quickly find its source and surrender it to your love and gaze in your face looking for my next action of love with regard to this thing that disturbs me. And when all I see is your beautiful face smiling back at me with no answer on your lips may I learn to enjoy your presence and completely trust that you will show me what to do and that even at that moment you are working things out for the good for whatever concerns my heart.

Son look into my eyes and know that I hold all things together and weave all things for the good. Lucifer and his demons have no authority here any more and the more that reality sinks in the more frenzied their attempts to hang on to ground they are daily losing to my flood of mercy. Their sandbags are pointless, their hateful gates cannot stand against the tide of my love. Outward appearances are all the news media can focus on but I see hearts longing for divine love and mercy and I have an endless supply of it. Simply abide in me, be my troubadour of light, my hands, my feet, my mouth, my embrace of love, my smile of compassion.. Be me to them, allow me to flow through you. Fret not Sebastian. I am surrounding you and within you, what have you to fear for nothing can separate us, no one can steel you away from me or me from you. Even you can't really get rid of me the hound of heaven ;)

O Lord I so do not want to get rid of you right now! At this divine instant I want to dwell in You always and never leave your side. I wish to stay mindful of Your presence more and more that I may mindfully and with great care, patience and tenderness pour Your presence through myself onto all those around me like a wonderful fountain gushing abundantly everywhere at a water park, blown by the wind of Your Holy Spirit and splashing all over everyone near it.

I love You Lord.

I love you son.

I love you Mother and all you Holy lovers of God!

And we love you Seb and pray for you.

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]

Focus on Jesus not the Storm

Good morning Jesus! Lord I have sensed you saying something about how common it is in this version of the world for people to be in my position. That it is just another suffering servant / man of sorrows thing.

Yes my son, I have made you unique in many ways but this is not one of them. Countless of my sons and daughters throughout history have experienced the same things you have in this area and are experiencing it today more than ever. To have a demon / oppressor / slaver exalted to a level of a god in a culture is quite common. In fact it is so common as to seem normal in your times. Consider the phrase 'Truth in advertising' … what a joke!! Seriously!?! Hahaha! I find that one humorous, that they have to legislate that there must at least be a grain of truth in their adds. So many of the promises in these adds are so oppressive and they draw people pied piper like deeper into their addictions.

The advertising world, driven by consumerist greed, avarice and acquisitiveness fuels the compulsive behaviors of so many of my children. It does this unapologetically and the compulsions themselves become mandated gods who oppress and enslave people and demand worship. Think of the entire food empire, alcohol, clothing, tobacco, coffee, soda pop, energy drinks, prescription drugs… All of them glamorized beyond reason and promising what they cannot possibly deliver. All of them oppressing and enslaving countless thousands and in each case the culture gets on board embracing them as the best thing ever. Moby said it well, everything is wrong in this area.

So you are not alone at all. Most of my children daily face a world that holds out the oppressors and slavers in their lives as good guys that are here to help them. There is nothing new under the sun. Indeed, the demons of lust and compromise are certainly two of the worst and most ubiquitous. Fear not however, these passions are no match for a soul that abides in me. For where I am, as you have both heard and seen, the demons flee. I have overcome the world. Go forth today encouraged in that truth, for I am the Truth, the Way and the Life!

Thank you Jesus for bringing this all together for me this morning! I am so grateful for you encouraging words. I love you Lord!

In light of this truth I see how fruitless it is to be resentful towards my oppressors/slavers and those who either purposely our unintentionally embrace them as pals. I am instead to focus on Jesus, gaze into his face and walk on the water towards him ignoring the waves and the wind and the lightning and the rain!

Fantastic view from underwater
By Yongsung Kim

Lord I surrender all my resentment and anger towards this world full of demonic waves, oppressors, slavers and full of people like myself who have embraced them as friends. I completely trust you Lord as I walk out onto these chaotic waters and happily ignore the demons swirling around me and I gaze on your face. Only you can keep me afloat. Only you can give me the eyes of compassion I need to see those around me that are in the same situation, struggling to look to you and like me often sinking into the water and crying out for help.

(Please support the work of Yongsung Kim!)
 

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]

Surrendering My Right to be Voldemort

Obsessing over part of someone’s body
Is as violent as making Horcruxes

Lord Jesus I am reminded of how violent Tom Riddle was. In order to get what he lusted after He murdered people to purposely rip his own soul. It is that kind of violence I do when I lust after fellow creatures, when I tear them apart and obsess over the symbols of intimacy and nurture built into their body … well, at that moment I am being Voldemort. God I don't want to be Voldemort today or ever. If only I could see what was happening spiritually with my physical eyes I would be horrified… I imagine it would be something like a dementor when they sucked the souls out of people, only I am sucking the body parts that symbolize intimacy and nurture into my mind to obsess over and feast upon them as if they could satisfy my true longings. I am horrified at what I do and now I finally am understanding why Father uses the word integrated a lot in his homilies, because what I do as an addict is disintegrate people and creatures; tear them into pieces and rob them of their loving relational connectedness with God and others.

Lord if I don't ever do that again it will be too soon!! Lord the instant the dementor like sucking starts, or even before it starts, stop me and help me name them and place them in a loving relational context and pray for them and their family and friends and relationship with you and their dreams and the work of their hands and all the good in them. Let me never ever tear another human or creature apart to fill up my misguided hunger and thirst. Then let me run to you with my emptiness and feast on You the Bread of Life and drink You the Living Water stronger than wine. Only you can fill my soul Lord. Like you said before:

Praying for these people (and creatures) and their families and their relationship with me is the biggest gift you can give them and helps you reframe them in a loving relational context. Whenever you are tempted to take from them or anyone in that way, give them a name and a family and a relationship with Me in your heart and then pray for all of that specifically. Use the five point prayer (see below) or as much of it as you can remember.

Lord have mercy on me and heal my sick and twisted mind. I want to love and give like you did Lord, not rip and tear and take.

Become one with me and you will love and give like me. This is my desire for you that you stay with me always in your heart and meditate on my presence and speak with me and take my council continually. Trust me in your meetings with Scott and Jared and every aspect of your work today. I will show you what to say and do and teach you the love and selflessness.

I do trust you Lord, help my unbelief!

____________

THE FIVE POINT PRAYER

Any time you make someone an object of your lust, desire, anger, bitterness, resentment, rage… PRAY FOR THEM! It is a gift to them. Give instead of take. Give them back their humanity. (The “10th Wheel” SA White Book p162)

Pray…

1) That they be purified and healed so they may be exempt from all evil
2) That they would know You (God) and love You in return
3) That they would be protected against any and all attacks of the enemy
4) For purification and healing in all their relationships
5) For a blessing on the work of their hands.

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]

May the 4th Be With You

Star Wars Day… Most significant myth of our times, a good dream sent by God to humanity of heroic deeds, sacrificial love, unexplainable forces just beyond our senses, darkness and light, good triumphing over evil, and so on. But only a dream.

Reality however is found in Christ Jesus our Lord. And reality is a person, not just a life force I can manipulate to my will, but a good King to whom I submit my will. A shepherd King who lays His life down for the sheep and conquers death, sin and hell. One who leads me beside still waters and restores my soul. He is the Bread from heaven and the Living Water. The world is bursting with His loving presence just beneath the surface of things, it is slowly bursting through the cracks like beams of light.

Yes my divine mercy is going out into all the universe, it is there for all, lapping at the feet of every person ready for them to plunge into, but O the clever devices you design to insulate yourselves from my love. I Am here, but most will not invite me in to heal and restore their souls. It makes my heart sad, but they must come willingly, responding to the reality of my love. They must wake from their dreams of gaming and puzzle solving and reveling and storytelling and see what these all point to. They must willingly see the source, it is a delicate gift of interactive love I offer, who will tell them? Whom can I send?

Here am I Lord, send me. But grant that the fiery coal of Thine all-holy Body and precious Blood be for the sanctification, enlightenment and strengthening of my wretched soul and body, for the relief from the burden of my many transgressions, for my preservation against every demonic activity, for the trampling down and averting of my careless and evil habits, for the mortification of passions, for obedience to Thy commandments, for growth in Thy divine grace and for the inheritance of Thy kingdom.

I need cleansing, healing and strengthening continually..

Yes abide in me, we can do great things together if you abide in me.

Amen.
Thank you Lord.

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]

God’s Continual Whispers of Love

If he said it yesterday,
He is still whispering it today

Do not hesitate to review all or part of what I have said to you previously. I have not stopped saying them but am whispering them all to you all the time. Remember how I warned Eustace and Jill how the air was thicker down in Narnia than in my country and that it would be important for them to review my words often, to repeat and memorize them out loud with each other. So it is with scripture and my words to you personally directly or through others. You can review them if you write them down and you should, often and out loud with others if you can. Do not be afraid to review your journal because you haven't completed what I am instructing / have instructed you to do… Remember that these words of Mine to you are continual like breath, I shall be whispering them to you all the time. Do not be distraught or discouraged by what you have not completed or perfected but rather rejoice that there is so much to do, so many acts of love both to continue and to complete.

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]

Mother Earth Father Sky

Yes Lord I am listening to you say more to me about the Mother Earth/Father Sky approach. From what I have learned from my catechism classes, Mother is Mater or matter, the physical things of the earth. Father is Pater or pattern, the one who provides the blueprint for forming the matter.

The question I have is why is there such a push against Father Sky or at least an ignoring of Him right now? Does the push to embrace, understand, love, protect, etc. Mother Earth have to negate, ignore or in some cases even be hostile to Father Sky?

Lord Jesus, I ask you to enlighten me and give me listening ears and a listening face towards my daughter and all the strong women in my life that love Mother Earth so much and seemingly ignore Father Sky or refuse speak of You. There is much fear I sense here, afraid of previous abuses perhaps? Afraid Father Sky is NOT to be trusted since His followers have treated mothers at all levels so poorly.

It seams to me that the ancient reverence for Mother Church, Mary should indicate a warmth and love towards motherliness on all levels by at least part of the Church. It seems that at least parts of the flock 'gets it'… the importance of Mother Earth, motherliness, nurturing…

Very much looking forward to seeing old friends… Lord Jesus give me a kind listening face and open ears. Help me to draw out what others love and are interested in and encourage the gifts I find that you have given them today.

Thank you Lord that I was able to go to mass today on the day that we remember the annunciation.

Glory to God for all things!

Yes the earth is mother, matter, in fact in a way all created things are connected and are mother to you. This is a good understanding. And Mother Earth produced The Quintessential Mother, Mary the Mother of God, the Star Gate, The Divine Ladder of ascent and descent, the Mountain of the Lord, the Ark of the Covenant, The Mercy Seat, and so many other beautiful metaphors that describe Her, Heaven and Earth are united in Her and Her Son Jesus. The Quintessential Mother Earth is also the Queen of Heaven. Heaven and Earth have united. The completion and unity of all things has begun.

She is the Star Gate and I did pass through Her and she opened the way, the portal is open because of Her, I have her DNA, without it the Portal would close. I have become everywhere present and filling all things because of Her and with Her permission. Her 'let it be' changed the universe.

Thank you Lord for the clarification!

______

[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]