Deleting Suspicion of Joy

Papa, I'm happy to be going to confession this morning. I need healing from the wound of that deadly sin scraping me up last Saturday night. Ugghhhh… heal me Jesus.

I do want to heal you and cleanse you from that son. I will meet you there in person.

Thank you Lord, I am so grateful for the voice of the Holy Spirit within that you and all the Saints channel through to counsel and console me. I am so grateful you are teaching me to listen. Lord I do so wish I could stop the 15 - 18 times that Fr. J suggests during the day to tune into you. I fear I do not do so. Even when I do pause when switching tasks and ask you to guide me I'm not sure I really do let you guide me… I don't know what to think about this Lord… sometimes it feels like I'm just bursting to share things with people and I don't know if it is you guiding me or simply my own joy and enthusiasm.

Son, why can it not be both? You seem to be thinking that just because your enthusiasm and joy have bowled people over in the past that it cannot also be my joy coursing through you. Can you trust me to sort it out and trust me in others to sort it out as well? People are more understanding and forgiving than you give them credit for. They are not always judging you in a negative light. It isn't even good to ponder over much on how they are thinking of you… simply be with me in the moment, allow me to course my joy and love for them through you and worry not if you are over enthusiastic doing this. 

It is our joy together that brings the tears so often to your eyes and to mine. I have eyes as well now, remember? And I weep with joy when we are loving other people in our thoughts, words and deeds in, with and through each other. This spiritual form of nuptial embrace is life giving. It is the marriage of heaven and earth sowing life into hungry and sometimes famished souls. Please son, stop doubting yourself in this, only believe. Trust that all will be well and that your efforts to channel my love no matter how imperfect are redemptive… our merging in body, blood, soul and divinity is energizing and good. You don't look at the physical marital embrace with such suspicion do you son? Neither look at our spiritual merging to lovingly bring forth life in others, to call out the good, true and beautiful with suspicion.

Ok Lord, I will try to clear this suspicion from my heart, better yet, you cleanse it from me in your strength Lord. I love you.

We all love you son and are well pleased with your progress on the journey.

Amen.

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[Bold print represents what Seb is sensing God whispering in the depths of his heart during his prayer time. Bold italic print represents what Seb is sensing a Saint whispering to his heart in prayer. NONE of this is to be taken as authoritative instruction for us all. Click here to learn more about what this type of two way prayer is and is not.]